“My head look like condom,” says Betet Merta. The diminutive Balinese surfer is clad in rubber from head to toe, including a tight-fitting neoprene hood that makes his dome look like something on the back of a Durex box. Betet does not look comfortable under all that thick rubber. We are about to go surfing at a sharky spot on the rugged coast between San Francisco and Santa Cruz – if Betet doesn't back out when his toes feel the icy water.
On this January morning the water temperature is a prickly 11 degrees Celsius, but it feels more like 7 or 8 °C with the wind chill from the brisk offshores. Betet hasn't surfed since leaving Bali in late October. For weeks he's been stationed at the mall in Petaluma, California, helping his wife at her store and taking care of their newborn daughter, Hannah. From Petaluma it's an hour-drive to the nearest beach, and two hours to any decent waves. Betet's been calling me incessantly about going surfing. “When can we go to Santa Cruz?” he says. “I miss the ocean. I need to surf.”
Now we are finally at the beach and the waves are looking pretty damn good. Bowly, overhead rights are winding down an offshore reef surrounded by large strands of floating bull kelp. But as soon as we get our feet wet, Betet starts to fidget and looks anxious. We paddle out. Halfway out to the break, I look back and see Betet floundering on the inside. He's lying on his board, staring down at the water. He looks like he's about to puke. He turns to me and gives the international sign for surrender. “No way!” he shouts, shaking his head. “Too cold!”
When a five-wave set comes cracking down the reef and into the channel, Betet's wave lust takes over and he powers out to the lineup. We last about 25 minutes, at which point we can't feel our hands or feet and can barely stand up. We retreat to the warmth of the car. Three waves, that's all we have to show for our long drive down the coast. It still beats a day at the mall. Driving back north, Betet presses his hands to the car's heater vents, and we discuss his ongoing love-hate relationship with America.
We just went surfing north of Santa Cruz and you almost passed out from the cold. What's the worst thing about surfing in cold water?
I hate the cold water. The wave today was so fun, but I can't feel my feet on my board.
Why don't you wear booties?
I can't wear booties. I never wear them.
How long can you stay out in water that cold before you feel like you're gonna die?
I don't know, today after 25 minutes I'm already done. After just three waves I can't feel my feet. On my last wave I'm like, oh my god, where is my feet! It's not worth it for me. I can't live here. Santa Cruz has a lot of good waves. It's almost like Bali, everywhere you go good wave. But the water is just too cold.
Maverick's is just thirty minutes north from here. Any interest?
Fuck that. Those guys are crazy. I can't surf three-foot wave in cold water, how can I surf a 20-foot wave in freezing water. That's so heavy. I wish I can do that. Then maybe I can live here.
"Fuck booties!"What's your favorite thing about America?
Obama. I love Obama. I'm just pissed at him because he never call me when he come to Bali. I wanna hang out with him, but he don't call me. Last time he was in Bali, I saw his plane – what's it called?
You mean Air Force One?
Yeah, Air Force One. I was surfing Serangan with Benji (Weatherly), and we saw his plane, and we started yelling, Obamaaaa! But he didn't hear me (laughing).
Ok, what's the worst thing about America?
Everything is so far away here. You wanna go surf that wave? Far. You wanna go to that place? Far. You wanna go see your friends? Far. And you have to drive in the car and find parking. Sometimes you have to pay like $20 for parking. In Bali you can jump on the bike and get there quick, and park wherever.
Have you been to the East Coast of America?
Where's East Coast? Oakland?
No, like New York.
Not yet. I really want to go to New York. If I have money, I want to go there for sure. That's my dream.
What do you think of Petaluma, your wife's hometown?
It's pretty mellow. The town is pretty small, almost like Kuta. I like that. But sometimes it can get really boring.
What is the biggest difference between America and Bali?
Here the roads so big, the car so big. The internet is really fast. Whatever you want to download, it's so good. At my wife's house we have really fast internet. That's all I've been doing here is staying home and watching surf movies on YouTube and watching webcast of surf contest like the Pipe Masters.
What do you miss most about home when you are away?
I just miss surfing. In Bali you're in shorts and the waves are better. The waves can be good here, but the water is too cold. You don't have fun. In Bali there's more people on the beach, more chicks, it's just nice. I miss the beach lifestyle – warm water, surfing with all my friends. Bali is the best place to live. It's paradise.
What's the first thing you will do when you get home?
Go surf. I have three new boards from YU waiting for me right now. I can't wait to get home and wax them up, and paddle out in shorts, and surf some warm waves.
And no condom head.
For sure, no condom head.
By Leo Maxam / Balibelly.tv
